Moving to NYC

After a lot of back and forth, my husband and I have decided to move back to New York. I have very much enjoyed writing this blog, and may continue to do so going forward, but in any case the blog will not continue in this form. 

I hope to write more about the reasons for the move.

choice, freedom and happiness

A friend of mine pointed me to this talk on Why are we happy? by Dan Gilbert as part of the TED series.  The gist of the talk is that people are happy regardless of external circumstances, and that we are happiest when we are stuck (although the situation may be objectively terrible).  So the person who wins the lottery, and the person who has an accident and becomes a paraplegic, are equally happy after a year!

Part of the immigrant experience is that one is constantly asking oneself: "Is this the right place for me?" I am indeed very lucky to have the choice to decide between two great places - NY and Munich - that are completely different, but charming in their own ways. But that choice makes me think, and not completely settle down in any place. 

Maybe freedom and choice really do not make people happy.

dark and beautiful

I am always amused that when I go shopping here in Munich, either the sales woman or another customer inevitably says: "Sie können doch alles tragen; Sie brauchen kein Make-up oder so was (You can wear any colour, and don't need any make-up or anything)".

In terms of skin tone, the German or generally Western idea of beauty is someone who is well tanned.  The risk of skin cancer doesn't stop tanning being a multi-billion euro industry.

In terms of skin tone in India, it is the reverse - the fairer the better.  This is one of the things that seem to be true across India.  Indian film actresses are inevitably fair on screen (regardless of how they look in candid photos).  I recall the brouhaha caused when Aishwarya Rai's skin was lightened on a magazine cover - although she is, by Indian standards, already quite fair.  Indians (mostly women) use products like Fair and Lovely, which promises power with beauty (aka fairness) - that too with each wash! Never mind the cancer risk. 

Indians don't hesitate to voice this preference for fair skin.  I recall a male classmate in graduate school in India saying to a female classmate: "Why are you hanging out in the sun? You will get all dark".  I am sure mothers discourage daughters from active sports for this reason.  One can see this even in the classifieds for arranged marriaged in India - the brides are either "fair and beautiful" or they have a "wheatish complexion".  There is no "dark and beautiful" in India. There is a whole category of movies that depict dark women as doomed to singledom and failure.

This preference for fair skin is prevalent even in Indian immigrant communities.  I recall a relative, born and brought up in the US, saying she wished her new born daughter had taken after her (and not the father) - the father had a darker skin tone.

Unfortunately, although India is modernising at a rapid pace, this prejudiced and biased attitude seems to be deeply rooted in the culture.  Here is wishing for a "dark and beautiful" future.

authencity, political correctness and crossing the line......

There are old dependables that one reads or comes back to at the end of a long day, simply to escape from the day-to-day grind.  For me a true guilty pleasure is reading quasi travel / food books disguised as mysteries.  I first came across this genre through Donna Leon's books, where 'sublime' Venice is present as a character in each book, and there are pages devoted to Italian cooking. So much so that the recipes have been collected into a cookbook of its own!

I have enjoyed the Klufti books set in Allgäu, where King Ludwig built Neuschwanstein. 

I started reading my second Rita Falk book, Dampfnudelblues, which is on the Spiegel best seller list. The book is written in the voice of Franz Eberhofer, the village constable, who has been transferred to Niederkaltenkirchen, a village in lower Bavaria, after trying to be Dirty Harry in Munich.  Franz's brother is married to a Thai girl-woman.  Franz calls his month-old niece Sushi and says that even with the Schlitzauge (chinky eyes) she is beautiful (I did find this funny though). But, upon being asked by the mayor to act as a bodyguard for a black Angolan football player, he says "Sie glauben doch nicht im Ernst, dass ich mich jedes Wochenende auf den verschissenen Fußballplatz stelle und einen Neger bewache!" (You don't seriously believe that I am going to stand in the shitty football playground each weekend and watch over a nigger).

This is the point where I stopped reading the book. 

I understand that Franz is meant to be funny in a slapsticky politically incorrect way.  If one looks at the Amazon reviews of the book, there are claims that the use of the n-word makes Franz more authentic.  Granted, one doesn't have to take the same approach as in the US, where there are bowdlerising Mark Twain's books to replace the n-word with slave. But, unless Ms. Falk meant to show that Franz was somewhat xenophobic, such sentences are simply not funny!

German Public Television - Part II (oder warum ich Schnauzen liebe)

Sunday evenings on German TV always feature a Schnulze (i.e. kitschy) film on ZDF.
I am not sure what the Indian or American equivalent would be.  A cross between Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and Bold and the beautiful comes to mind, but neither comparison quite fits the bill.

These films are comforting like an old Agatha Christie novel. You know there will be a bit of drama, but everything is going to turn out alright in the end.

But what is peculiarly German about these films is that they don't usually take place in Germany (unless it in scenic Upper Bavaria), but almost always in Italy.  Goethe's words about Italy ring true even today. Thousands of German tourists flock every year to Italy, the "land where the lemons bloom".  The Sunday films are also a metaphor for this lure of the South. 

What is also striking is that the films always play out in a background of incredible wealth.  And that in this most egalitarian and democratic of countries, where the rich are unpopular!

Thinking through it maybe the German films have more in common with Bollywood films than one realises.  If one sets aside the song and dance, Bollywood films do take place in exotic locales and feature well-to-do families.  I am sure Hindi films would be big hits in Germany.  But till that tíme there is always the ZDFSonntagsfilm.  So enjoy!

Update: As SK points out, Bollywood films, especially Shah Rukh Khan's are, in fact, popular in Germany.  A point confirmed by my finding a trove of DVDs of Bollywood films in the Munich public library.

German Public Television - Part I

I looked at my husband from the couch where I was comfortably ensconced in a snuggy, and said "ich liebe diese Schnauze. Die ist so lustig".  He promply burst out laughing. What I meant to say, of course, was that I loved the Schnulze, which means "a kitschy or schmaltzy film".  Schnauze in German means snout (like of a dog!).

The embarassing moment aside German public television is unique.  My Sunday evenings (like those of many others) are devoted to either a Tatort  or to a kitschy film on ZDF (sometimes to both, thanks to everything being available on the internet). 

America has its Law & Order, which has been around for nearly 20 years.  Tatort is also a detective series, but it has been around for nearly four decades and is ingrained into German pop culture.  Each German state has its own version of Tatort (which literally means the scene of the crime); so there is a Munster Tatort, a Munich Tatort, a Berlin Tatort and even a Viennese Tatort.

The charm of each series is its local colour.  I have learnt to recognise regional accents and regional foods from the various Tatorts.  For example, the Cologne detectives always stop after each Tatort at their favourite stand for curry wurst and beer, as is, I am told, typical for the Rhineland. The ones from Munich often has the murder taking place in a Biergarten.

Different Tatorts tackle different themes. Some Tatorts like the one from Munster are slapsticky, others like the one from Hamburg featuring Turkish detective Cenk Batu are reminiscent of a Bourne movie. Yet others are intended to be educational (and not just entertaining), like the ones from Bodensee often featuring environmental cases and the ones from Berlin featuring issues relating to immigration and corruption.

All Germans have a favourite Tatort detective - and they sometimes discuss who their favourite Tatort detective is, the way Indians discuss cricket players or Bollywood actors.  Funnily enough almost all the Tatort detectives are either in failed relationships, single parents or otherwise lone wolves.  The Tatorts also feature their (usually failed) relationships; I am always surprised how much sex and nudity there is on German public TV at 8:15 on a Sunday!

Spring is in the air...

I love spring time in Munich.

I grew up in India in a city with a tropical climate - there were only two seasons - rainy and not rainy.  In NYC, the transition is really quick - there is practically one week of spring, and then it is hot and humid.

I love the gradual transition in Munich, and all the things that one can do with the good weather.

These are some of my favourite things (pics from last year):

1. Planting my balcony

2. Going hiking

3. Swimming in the Bavarian lakes

4. and going to the Beer Gardens of course!